Too-Full Queasy Feeling

 

I’m kinda cheap, so when I go out

I like an all-you-can-eat buffet

And I wanna get my money’s worth

So I gotta starve myself all day

 

And I get a too-full

Queasy feelin’

And I know I can’t keep it down

‘Cause I’m already barfin’

On the ground.

 

I’m kinda tight, and I like to get tight

But I hate to drink up all my pay

So I only buy the cheapest swill

Suck down a gallon every day

 

And I get a snoot-full

Dizzy feelin’

And I know I can’t hold my booze

‘Cause I’m already ralphin’

On my shoes.

 

Flu shots they cost ten dollars or so

That I’d rather spend on food or booze

So I figure if I don’t get a shot

Lunch is all I gotta lose

 

And I get a rueful

Sneezy feelin’

And I know I should get a life

‘Cause I’m already pukin’

On my wife.

 

(Musical interlude, perhaps with disgusting sound effects)

 

And I get an awful

Sleazy feelin’